Group Coaching: Powering Up

 This is a donation-based gathering (recommend $10 to $20 dollars) for people who are living most of their lives in the Sensitivity Pattern across our differences and are both beginning to recognize the benefits we get from this and, yet, how we want more: more empowerment, more voice, more solidarity across our differences, more clarity, more decisiveness, more ferocity, MORE WARRIOR, and without violence!

_{NO REGISTRATION IS REQUIRED BUT WE ASK THAT YOU LET US KNOW IF YOU PLAN TO COME BY EMAIL AT LEAST ONE DAY IN ADVANCE AND WE WILL SEND YOU THE ZOOM LINK.}

_{We will engage in a variety of experiential activites and have lots of share time where we support one another in the movement from our heads to our hearts and guts.}

_{For more ways to get the individualized support – please visit our “support” page in the menu at the top of the page.}

_{After clicking the donate button below you can choose any amount by choosing “other” on the right side of the donation screeen.}

What past participants would like you to know

“Be prepared for a high feedback environment”

“Love the deep dive inside myself – so challenging”

“It’s about taking complete responsibility for my life”

“This is not a place for venting”

“It is a place where we can learn to speak from solidarity and strength”

“It is a place where we learn how see and honor our differences and commonality

Want more support? If you’d like a free introductory coaching session, let us know! Typically, we charge $200 per hour for consultation, assessment, or coaching–the packages below allow us to offer significant savings:

_{If you’re unfamiliar with the Power of Difference Model  you can take the RPQ or PDA or get a sample here or by downloading the protocols at the bottom of the page:}

_{The Three Patterns}                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

_{These following three protocols are based on The Power of Difference Model (PDM) which describes three patterns of thinking, of belief, of behavior, worldview, managing fear, and moral superiority, related to our differences. Each of these three patterns has both assets and limitations. We can use these patterns from a “needy”, “grasping” place…or a powerful, caring, present, and potent place. Ultimately, the goal is for each of us to integrate the assets of all three in a way that feels good, strong, clear and connective! When a person does not act in solidarity with others, it is typically, from one of these three patterns and each one requires or invites a different response. These three responses are the “Solidarity Protocols.}

_{Note: If you notice that one of these patterns below feels “right” or “comfortable” to you…it is probably YOUR primary pattern!}

_{Sensitivity – In this pattern, I value the power of understanding others’ perspectives as the way to safety for all of us. I recognize and deeply value differences and recognize them everywhere! This is the primary asset of Sensitivity. On the other hand, I can over-focus on political correctness out of a fear of offending others…and I can become frozen or confused. In my effort to get others to “get it” I can become exhausted and patronizing and miss connecting personally. My learning edge lies in the Strength pattern: courage, powering up, being ferocious but in a way that refuses both silence AND violence. This pattern can sound like: “If only we could get our supervisor to take this workshop” or “I’m not sure what do to, I don’t want to offend anyone.” Here are a few examples in which these authors are “teaching” the rest of us, and assuming they have understanding we don’t! You might notice how it feels when someone makes this kind of assumption about you.}

_{Oneness – In this pattern, the lover archetype, I value the power of unity as the way to safety for all. I recognize an important truth: that we are one human family, that we are all one. This is the primary asset of Oneness. On the other hand, I can focus so strongly on our common humanity that I can impact others as devaluing and minimizing differences that might be important to the other person. I might seek to a “spiritual bypass” – opting to move beyond the sometimes “messy” world of relationships, challenge, and hardship that our differences can seem to bring. My learning edge lies in Sensitivity: understanding the profound importance of difference. I want to learn to recognize the need for people to identify for themselves what matters. It can sound like: “I don’t see disabilities, I just see people,” “All Lives Matter” or “Talking about difference just causes divisions,” “The only race I care about is the Human Race!” Below are a few examples. Oneness can be a way to feel safer in a dominant group for someone who is from a marginalized group and concerned about “sticking out” and being “targeted.” Or it can be a way for a person in a dominant group to minimize another person experience (a form of “gaslighting”) as a way to maintain power and privilege.}

_{Strength – In this pattern, the warrior archetype, I value the power of courage, decisiveness, clarity, and a noble willingness for self-sacrifice as the ways to create safety for my “own” group (familial, racial, organizational). These are my gifts. On the other hand, I may employ denigration of the other: dominance, aggression, evaluation of difference, and the identification of “other” as “enemy.” My learning edge lies in Oneness: unity, commonality, connection to all. The Strength pattern can sound like:  “People should just stop complaining and take care of business”, “the real problem is reverse discrimination,” ”I stand with the police.”}    

_{The Three Solidarity Protocols}

Being able to use  the “sensitivity” protocol with oneself first is the priority!

_{1. The “Sensitivity” Protocol – When a person appears confused, frozen, or desiring others to “get” something:}

• _{Is there a payoff for you to be confused (or frozen, or focused on getting others to change)?}                                                                                  

_and/or

• _{If you weren’t confused (or frozen or needing to get someone to get something)…but you saw an empowered path that refuses both silence and violence, what would that path be?}

_{2. The “Oneness” Protocol-When a person’s words reflect an overfocus on our common humanity and a devaluation of difference:}

• _{I hear your intention to honor all people…and I feel called to speak in solidarity with _________ whose difference society attempts to minimize by over-focusing on our oneness.}

_{3.  The “Strength” Protocol-When a person‘s word reflect aggression, combativeness, or evaluation of difference:}

• _{When you (say/do) _________ I feel called to speak in solidarity with both you and with _________ as your words (actions) don’t serve you or the unity and dignity of all people.}

_Practice                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

_{Note: When practicing, it is not necessary to remember the protocols verbatim. See if you can get “ahold” of their essence or “feeling” of them.}

_{Think of an early time you felt called to stand in solidarity with a person or a group or even yourself–and you didn’t. You probably didn’t have the tools or the modeling, so you can be gentle with yourself and forgive what you didn’t know. For me, it was in the 7th grade when I was bullied and didn’t know what to do or say!}

_{Now you will have the opportunity to “redo” that experience through a kind of role-play.}

_{1.  Pick who will go first.}

_{2. Take yourself back to that moment now in your imagination (for some this is easier—for others, less so…we encourage you give it a try!).}

_{3. Describe the situation.}

_{4. Now, try using the protocol that best matches the situation to “replay” the scene.}

_{5. Try it more than once. Maybe louder or softer. Try different tones. What’s it like to speak with ferociousness—strong but not violent. Notice how all this feels and where you feel it in your body?}

_{6. If you feel comfortable, ask your partner for feedback. A basic question might be: on a scale from 1-10, how believable were you? Maybe you’ll want to try again to see if you can get a higher “score.”}

_{7. When the first person is complete, switch to the other. You may each want to bring a different situation to mind in order to try another pattern.}

_{To view or download the Solidarity Protocols:}